Don't Forget to Live

“Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” — Drake

“Whether you like it or not, you’re participating in life, so experience it.” I wrote that in my notes after overthinking every choice presented to me at the time. Everything felt heightened and I didn’t want to feel the aftermath of making the “wrong” decision. I wanted to plant my feet where I stood; it felt like the safer and better option, except it was never an option.

Life is always moving, we are aging, and things are always changing, but we forget that when every day feels the same, we unconsciously allow our fears, routine, responsibilities, or the state of the world to suffocate the excitement of living. We treat routine and responsibilities as strings tethered to a reality void of colour, instead of tuning them like a guitar—strumming responsibilities and routine together with life’s pleasures and creating harmony.

One of my favourite movies is The Secret Life of Walter Mitty; it shows a man caught between routine expectations and his daydreams of a more vibrant life. He trepidatiously embarks on an adventure that deconstructs his own narrative and imaginary boundaries.

My thoughts: there is nothing bigger than life. Life itself is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

My fear of death was force-fed to me after my best friend unexpectedly passed away. I was left to sort through an exceptional amount of grief, trauma, unresolved anxieties, and the unforgiving reality that life is unpredictable. Like many of us, she had dreams and goals she looked forward to, then life happened. I am not saying this as a self-help ploy to rush you into changing your life, but to serve as a reminder that we never know how or when our lives will be disrupted; therefore, we shouldn’t passively accept mediocrity if we desire more.

This piece isn’t written for people comfortable or pleased with their life. This is meant for the people who are drowning under the concept of “safety” and the perceived expectation of a responsible life. It’s for the people who frivolously spend their word bank—”I don’t have the time,” “I don’t have the money,” “I’m not ready,” “I’m not good enough”—on small opportunities of change. Which leaves them energetically bankrupt, uninspired by life and mentally enslaved to routine expectations. Science has proven that our brain has the ability to rewire itself based on the language we use and the beliefs we hold of ourselves. It recognizes patterns of speech and establishes new neural pathways. Neurosurgeon Dr. Betsy Grunch uses the example of walking through grass, initially it’s hard to see a path but after walking the same way for a while, the trail becomes more clear. That is called neuroplasticity. So, there is no sense in shaming yourself for not living the life that you desire, that will only perpetuate the same cycle of inaction.

Similarly, you’re not naive for believing there is something more for your life despite the odds that are stacked against you or the louder voices trying to trap you in the holes in your own dream. Use their questioning as feedback and fill those holes to stabilize your desires with a plan, and reject the projection of self-limiting beliefs from the fearful cynics.

My recommendation: put yourself in places that inspire you, listen to music that reassures you, commit to one task beneficial to your goals, surround yourself with people who support you, and remember this is your one life and you are the author of it.